There is a notable gap between heterosexual men and women in frequency of orgasm during sex. Little is known, however, about sexual orientation differences in orgasm frequency. We examined how over 30 different traits or behaviors were associated with frequency of orgasm when sexually intimate during the past month. We analyzed a large US sample of adults (N = 52,588) who identified as heterosexual men (n = 26,032), gay men (n = 452), bisexual men (n = 550), lesbian women (n = 340), bisexual women (n = 1112), and heterosexual women (n = 24,102). Heterosexual men were most likely to say they usually-always orgasmed when sexually intimate (95%), followed by gay men (89%), bisexual men (88%), lesbian women (86%), bisexual women (66%), and heterosexual women (65%). Compared to women who orgasmed less frequently, women who orgasmed more frequently were more likely to: receive more oral sex, have longer duration of last sex, be more satisfied with their relationship, ask for what they want in bed, praise their partner for something they did in bed, call/email to tease about doing something sexual, wear sexy lingerie, try new sexual positions, anal stimulation, act out fantasies, incorporate sexy talk, and express love during sex. Women were more likely to orgasm if their last sexual encounter included deep kissing, manual genital stimulation, and/or oral sex in addition to vaginal intercourse. We consider sociocultural and evolutionary explanations for these orgasm gaps. The results suggest a variety of behaviors couples can try to increase orgasm frequency.
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This means that lube is really, really important for any anal play. First, to stop damage to the internal lining of your arse. Second, to make bottoming (and topping!) more pleasurable. And third, to help protect it from infections.
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Bottoming is a lot of work, preparation, diet management, and trial and error to find a cleaning routine that works. And while many bottoms may envy the perceived ease of being a top, tops have their troubles too. Thanks to porn, our culture glorifies big dicks and idealizes hypermasculine, aggressive, ultra-confident tops, making average men (most of us) feel inadequate by comparison and leaving feminine and submissive tops out in the cold. Even with all these issues, anal sex is widely considered the default sex between men.
Numbing lube isn't inherently harmful; however, numbing lube temporarily deadens the sensors in the body that can tell you when something isn't right, which may cause problems. If you can't hear what your body is telling you, this could lead to a painful and even dangerous end result after the numbing lube wears off. Although anal sex and stimulation may be the source of pleasure for many men and women because of the anus's proximity to the male prostate gland (a.k.a., the male g-spot) and the female g-spot, it may also be uncomfortable for others. This is because people's backdoors consist of thin, sensitive tissues that are prone to tears and irritation especially since the anus, unlike the vagina, doesn't produce its own lubrication. If you feel any pain or notice bleeding after anal sex, this could be a sign of some internal damage.
Sex is meant to be enjoyable, so find what lights your fire and stoke it. But, if anal penetration doesn't do it for you, experiment to find out what does! As an alternative to using numbing lube, try other options to make anal sex more pleasurable. Firstly, the key to smooth sailing in the nether regions regardless of your port of entry is lubrication, lubrication, lubrication! Another tactic you may want to consider to help you relax is to experiment with anal masturbation. Certain toys, like butt plugs and anal dildos, may help you explore your posterior soft spots and figure out what gets you going.
The bottom line (excuse the pun) is that by turning off your pain sensors with numbing lube, you're also turning off your pleasure sensors, and what's sex without pleasure? If the anal tips don't help, consider testing the winds between you and your partner for smooth sailings.
Yet the death of this little transgender boy had torn open the silence and suffering of many transgender youths as they struggled through the highly gender-divided schooling system of Taiwan. One 35-year-old pre-op transsexual teacher painfully recalls a similar incident in his youth. Studying at an all boys' middle school, he was forced to find moments right after recess was over when he could use the women teachers' restrooms. One day, unfortunately, he was found out by three of his classmates. The boys wanted to verify his gender, so they dragged him into the boys' restrooms and stripped him. Upon finding his male body, the boys went ahead and forced him to perform oral sex, masturbation, and even anal sex for them. Something as shameful as this of course remained unreported. After all, how could the little boy even begin to tell what had happened? What words could he use to describe it? (If it had been difficult for innocent young girls to report the details of rapes, how do you think the transgender youth, who had always felt something was "wrong" with himself, would feel?) What's worse, life had to go on in school. So from that moment on, this transsexual youth, like many others in similar predicaments, had to use all his wits and energy to avoid or manipulate encounters with possible offenders on the very campus where he was supposed to lead a happy and fruitful life. 2ff7e9595c
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